Take the Time to use more words because people matter

I read a book lately that I enjoyed for many reasons. It had before and after pics that let me see the differences! It told me how to do things!

All those things were great, but, overwhelmingly what stood out to me was the title, there was no question of its intended audience. The book was for “People with ADHD.” Awesome, clarity in the title, no fuzziness there. 

But that also stood out to me for another reason. Why did it stand out to me? I noticed the words. I saw the language. 

Our choice of words, our language,  and how we talk about things, makes a difference.  

Let’s Teleport Back in Time…

It took me back to my grad school days. Those were a fair bit of time ago, since I was a spring chicken in grad school. I went there as a young pup straight out of college. 

Studying mental health, and developing my ear for how to talk ABOUT mental health was something I was learning. I notice HOW people talked about diagnoses. I frequently heard people say, “I’m ADHD.” Or “my son is ADHD.” 

In my work with people with anxiety, all the time, I hear, “I’m anxious.” 

And the list goes on.

Recently a teen said, “I am dyslexic."

“I am depressed.”

“I’m bipolar.”

“My parent is bipolar.” 

“I’m neurodivergent.” 

They are neurodivergent. 

When I hear that, I cringe. Can you guess why? 

It’s because I’m a grammar nerd with a degree in psychology. 

As a Midwestern-socialized- to- be- too- polite female I usually listened and let them carry on. I didn’t usually point out the errors. But sometimes I did, especially if I had a relationship with the person who said it, or if I was feeling extra assertive/confident that day. 

I regret that I often let it slide, even though my intuition was yelling inside me, teach them the way!

I am sorry for the times that I didn’t speak up sooner and louder as an advocate, because it would have been helpful.

But since my brain is older than 25, I can reflect on my behavior and choices more. And if you, dear reader, are also older than 25, you can as well.

Not to discourage the younger reader, I see you too! Your brain will follow the same path. Look forward to when you get to overthink and rethink things that you once were confident about.

As I, and we, become aware of something, we notice that we have gained new insight. We can now reflect on the impact of our actions. After this reflection, we can evaluate our approach. 

We may decide to try a different approach. 

Now, in reading these examples, you may feel called out, but I want to call you in, to a different way. 

Here’s an alternative way. 

What happens when we say this instead?

I have an AD/HD diagnosis. 

My child has an AD/HD diagnosis. 

I have been diagnosed with dyslexia. 

I have anxious thoughts. 

I feel depressed. 

I have a neurodivergent brain. 

why does it matter, i Don’t have time to use MORE words

Because, you, and your son, and your friend, and people, ARE NOT their diagnosis. They are people, who may, along the way, been appointed with a diagnosis. 

You would never say, “I’m Covid.” “I am Influenza A.” “I am eczema.” “I’m strained back”. “I am “broken leg.“

Yet somewhere along the lines we became our mental health diagnosis, and this over

identification with labels we’ve been given by health professionals isn’t serving any of us.