Unlock & Manage your Anxiety in Winter: A Therapist Weighs in on a Challenging Season

Winter + your mental health: let’s make a plan

The city has been getting ready for winter. Street sweepers and orange dump trucks ready with snowplow blades troll the streets, having cleaned up fall's leaves in preparation for winter snowfall.  Social media is full of people reacting to our rapidly decreasing hours of daylight. Conversation flows with people of Midwestern dialect politely discussing Minnesota’s most frequently discussed topic, the weather. 

The common trend I’m hearing is that people are “not really looking forward” to winter. You, too, may not be looking forward to winter. 

Word on the street is that people would like the weather to stay warmer, snow and ice free, by and large. 

While this isn’t the opinion of everyone, I do know some lovers of the snow, like my 10 year old son, this post is here to offer you some guidance as you face and embrace the changing seasons.

While driving, you may have witnessed the seasonal response of the animal kingdom. We’ve seen them busily scurrying around, busting their bushy tails to get their acorn inventory properly stowed away. They can feel it in their fur coats, the temperatures are changing and the hours of daylight are decreasing. Nature all around is foreshadowing what’s ahead. They are doing it with psychological wisdom, unbeknownst to them, as being squirrels they wouldn’t be able to label it in that way.  

Watch squirrels being challenged on obstacle courses here. 

Which Group Are You In? 

Are you picking up on it too? Can you sense the shifting of seasons around you? Are you a member of the group that is “not looking forward to winter?” 

I'm with you. It is harder to get out of bed in the morning without the sunshine greeting us. We are drawn indoors as cozy blankets and streaming shows call our names. I have favorite blankets that have made their appearance in the living room. They are nearly dangerous since they tend to halt all movement in lieu of cozy warmth.

You may also have a harder time with less daylight.  You may feel less like yourself, like you are losing part of who you are, the things that make you, you. Doing everyday things that came mindlessly last month, may suddenly require more effort. It may feel harder to do new or unfamiliar things while you are busy coping with the season change. 

Left unchecked in winter, you may notice that you have less motivation, and aren’t getting as many things done. Your to-do list is growing ever longer, especially with holidays approaching. Yet, reduced productivity can lead to new problems. So to avoid being overly impressed with the challenges of winter, you need to find a different way to face it.  

The effort it takes to get going in the morning, and having less motivation may also lead to your social time decreasing. Your friendships may change too, as you are no longer enjoying warm summer nights dining on the patio with friends. Watching sports moves indoors to the couch and is now accompanied by tasty snacks and beverages instead of strolls through the park. Your fitness tracker displays less steps. You may notice your muscles tighten in the cold, as you curl up in an effort to stay warm.

 

Gray skies may feel like they are taking your energy away. 

If you dig a little deeper, you may feel uncertain, worried or anxious about how the winter will go. You may feel dread at the thought of going through another one.  Yet, there’s an inevitability in the fact that winter is looming, and you have thoughts and feelings about this! You notice that you feel apprehensive about what it holds.

This pre-concern is a distinct thing that can happen in advance of a situation where we are uncertain about or convinced that we will have an unpleasant outcome.  It is “Anticipatory Anxiety.” 

Anticipatory anxiety happens in situations when you assume that things won’t go well. It comes from anticipating a poor result or unfortunate outcome to a future situation. 

Since our brains are very smart and efficient, they can quickly remind us of memories of times when things didn’t go well. You may have already had a memory flash into your mind just having read that sentence. Your brain has a well-intentioned strategy behind this, and it’s to help you avoid unpleasant situations! Your brain is actively working to help you!

It’s helpful to remember that dogs with bared teeth may bite, to avoid getting bit. However, it isn't helpful for us to expect the totality of winter will be awful. 

Notice and name the anticipatory anxiety that is at play when you are “not looking forward to winter.” 

What is happening in your mind as you dread winter, and all it brings, is that your mind has sped up time. It has taken you to a place in the future by having jumped to conclusions. 

Your mind is anticipating and expecting winter to be hard, and yet, you must take note, the bad outcome HAS NOT YET HAPPENED.  

When you are “not looking forward to winter” your mind may be drawing on past experiences of previous winters.

You recall the distinct moment in time winter crossed over from a thing you didn't look forward to- to when it became a thing you felt distaste for. 

There were the times when you became dissatisfied with winter, when you were “done with winter” or that moment when winter felt unbearable and unrelenting. You remember the seemingly endless presence of gray skies when you wondered if the sun would rise or did you already miss it rising?  

You remember when you were frustrated by winter. You remember when icy roads cancelled your travel plans, when the painting class you scheduled with your friend was cancelled due to snowy weather. When you were not able to attend a long-awaited event. You remember when winter changed your plans, and it blocked you from your goal. 

You are not looking forward to that happening again. 

Notice the present as a reminder of what is true

So, what can we do about winter, when we remember it with dread? Nothing, right? 

We can notice and name what is happening in our brain when we are in anticipatory anxiety mode. 

We can change our language around anxiety. We wouldn't say, "I am anxiety" but we likely have said "I am anxious." 

When we call ourselves anxious, we have to ask ourselves how is that is helping us?

Is it helpful to call yourself anxious? Personally, I don't find it as helpful as the strategy I am going to offer. So, just for a moment, ask yourself, "could there be a different way to approach this?"

Now, what if I notice that I have anxious thoughts? Then I can notice those, and quietly and patiently sit with them for a moment. 

I can be gentle with myself and explore them a bit and wonder with them. Hmmm....now, I wonder why I am having anxious thoughts? 

After you have given them some time, you can move onto using the space that you are currently in. This time, you can use your your immediate environment to support you. 

As you notice that anticipatory anxiety is at play, it is helpful to notice what is happening in the moment that you are actually in. Listen to the sounds around you. Feel the sensation of your warm sweater or fleece vest. Smell a scented candle burning alongside you. Taste the hot tea and freshly baked cookie, savoring the sweet treat.

Thinking about and noticing your current environment, including what you see, smell, taste, hear and touch helps you to be more thoughtful of the current moment. Being aware of the current moment helps you stay present. When you are able to stay present to the current moment,  you can respond to it more fully. 

When you are able to stay in the moment, the awareness that comes will support and serve you to make choices that help you move forward. 

Thinking about winter in this way, asking yourself “What is currently true?” can help you to “Winter Well.” 

Yesterday, even though it was the end of November, I noticed with gratitude that I was able to drive through the city without having to shovel the driveway or skid around on the ice. I even joined the line of people who were getting their car washed!

This is true as of today. I understand that it will be quickly shifting in Minnesota and possibly where you live too. 

So for now, take time to notice what is true of this moment.

Yet, you may find your mind wandering back to what will be true of later, it will get colder, it will get icier, plans will have to change with a shift of wind and snow. This is true, too. 

You remembered that you are not looking forward to winter. 

Not addressed, that anticipatory anxiety builds even up to a point where it feels like it is swallowing you up. It may feel like the dominant theme as you approach winter. 

The anxiety can grow, getting bigger and stronger with each anxious thought we have. Every memory of what went wrong in previous winters can come to mind. 

When this happens, your brain is getting more skilled, more efficient, and better at having anxious thoughts. Your brain is specializing in anxious thinking.

It becomes easier for anxious pathways to be built, the more attention they get. 

This is why when you feel anxious, you may sense anxiety growing, that the feeling of unsettledness is getting stronger with each passing thought. The more time you spend thinking and dreading winter, the more likely you are to experience that outcome. 

Anxiety is like a muscle 

Think of your anxious thoughts like a muscle. If you ignore your muscles they won’t get stronger. When you pay attention to your muscles by exercising them, you will notice a change in your body. Movement becomes easier, you may be able to lift heavier weights. Your endurance grows, and you are able to walk or run longer distances than you could before exercising. 

What happens in the brain is similar; anxiety is like this too. When you give anxious thoughts a lot of attention by thinking about them often, they respond by growing bigger and stronger. 

The more attention you give to the anxious thought the more powerful it seems. It feels louder, it may even feel true, though it isn’t true. 

Anxious thoughts may seem illogical, and irrational to your logical brain. In their presence you may find it harder to look at situations through a lens of common sense. 

Here is a perspective shift reframing how to view anxiety. The next time you notice anxiety, you will have this tool to use. 

Anxiety is a thought looking for a plan 

Anxiety is an indicator that a plan is needed

Let your anxiety tell you what it is seeking

Take wind from anxiety’s sails

When you give that anxiety a plan, it loses some of the wind in its sails. Giving the anxiety a plan interrupts the anxiety from taking over, and getting its own way. It creates an obstacle to continuing the spiraling of anxious thoughts. 

Research has demonstrated that an effective and powerful way to reduce anxiety is to create a plan for that anxiety. 

What happens when you give your anxious thought or worry a plan? Once your brain has been given a plan, it can move on. It can "release" that concern. It doesn't have to spend time spinning and spiraling around that "what if..." that gets you all worked up. 

When your brain has that plan, and that worry creeps back in- which it will- you will have an action step. 

You will be able to remind it of the plan that you made. You can point it back, or redirect it from that concern back to that plan. 

This is a strategy from the area of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy uses your brain, your thinking, to help inform or adjust your behavior. 

You are guided to think about your thinking. This is different than stressing about winter being here and catastrophizing about all the distress and discomfort that the winter will cause. 

When you have that plan that I mentioned, there's a helpful impact on your brain. Your brain, having been given that plan, is then more willing to begin to simmer down its anxious thinking. 

What happens when you have given your brain the plan?  Having the plan helps your brain move closer to calm, alert thinking that helps support action. 

Calm and alert thinking is massively helpful since it facilitates your response to the inevitable challenges that arise in life.  This type of relaxed thinking supports you, it helps you respond appropriately to challenges. This means that you can resume getting on with your tasks, planning, organizing and taking action on the things that matter to you. 

When your brain is lacking a plan for the anxiety-causing thing, thoughts about the concern can continue to resurface. They may even dominate, repeating themselves over and over. 

It may seem like those thoughts are coming out of nowhere! Let this indicator be a gentle reminder that serves you in your goals. This is your brain reminding you of something that needs addressing. Your brain is valiantly looking, trying hard to find a plan.

 

 Author's art,

 

I trust that you will consider, and maybe even try out this research-based tip, to give anxiety a plan, to approach your anxious thinking in a new way. 

What is true of all the moments of winter is that you are responsible for how you react to winter. 

You can take intentional action to support yourself through winter until the next warm day of spring arrives.

---

I will be sharing other ways to ease the burden of winter, helping you “Winter Well.” My next post will tell you more about my own plan for “Winter Well '23/'24” and offer some tips and tools, including a link to my favorite sunlight alarm clock that gets me going in a way that mimics the sun.

 

Look for a Free printable to  "Winter Well 23-24" coming soon!

I want for you to be able to have a better winter, a winter that goes well. So I will be sharing a simple format for you craft your own “Winter Well 23/24” plan. I will share more about it and when it releases,  at my instagram account, backdoorcounseling. 

If you found this post helpful, you may also enjoy the blog post that inspired it. There's an audio clip to listen to and a visual approach presented. The helpful blog post was shared by my women's leadership Coach, Jo Saxton. That blog post that she shared helped me to have a better winter. Reading it and thinking about what I needed helped me figure out what I needed to prepare for a pandemic winter. It led to me making wise plans and choices that resulted in supporting my needs.  

If you count yourself as “not looking forward to winter” or feel like life is overwhelming right now, please reach out to a therapist or a medical doctor for support. It is one thing to “not look forward to winter”  yet another thing to struggle through it. Don't settle for struggling through it! 

---

Winter may be the thing that wears you down. Winter is a great time to begin therapy, so that when warmer weather comes you can feel better equipped with more energy and skills to enjoy that sunshine more deeply!

I want to encourage you to reach out for support if you are in the middle of a struggle.

You deserve to feel better and to be supported in whatever challenge you are experiencing.   

If you are a resident of Minnesota and are seeking a therapist experienced in anxiety, grief & loss, or parenting, please reach out to me in your preferred way. 

Check me out at this short video,  to learn more about how I can help you take action to manage your anxiety, move forward after big changes or losses, or if you could benefit from support in your parenting. These are some of the areas that I am passionate about helping. If you have another concern that wasn't listed, reach out to see if my therapy work is a good fit for your needs. 

We can meet for a free consultation call or video to see if my therapy style and experiences are a good fit. I offer free consults on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. You can reach me to set up a free consultation via a text or leave a message for me at 651-757-5132 to set up a free call to see if our working together is a good fit for your goals and therapy needs. If you prefer, you can also reach me by email at [email protected] 

I offer online counseling with kind and respectful hospitality from my tropical plant-filled office, Backdoor Counseling.